Bryant Walker Tillman 12-07-10

Last Monday, the 6th, was Chadd's birthday. This is a picture we took by the tree at his parent's house.

As we were getting ready to go to their house I told him I wanted to be sure and take the camera so we could take a picture for his birthday. I halfway jokingly said, "Maybe this will be our last pregnancy picture."

Fast forward about 4 hours (12:25am)- we're in bed and I was dreaming something weird, but I can't remember what. Then, my water broke. We were so calm about it (on the outside), it was strange. From straight out of my sleep I said, "My water just broke." and it was like Chadd was wide awake. He just said, "Ok."- Hopped right up, threw me a towel and got dressed. I got up and went to the scale...and I didn't lose one.single.pound. I thought surely I had dropped 10 easy. I took a shower and Chadd started loading the car. Our house was a DISASTER. So much for that nesting myth. It was somewhat clean, but messy. Most people know I can be a little OCD, but I promise- complete disaster. I was walking around trying to clean up, just a little, as in making trails (literally) so my family could get around once they got into town and were staying here. We had boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations everywhere, plus fall ones that we had boxed up. So, after we got things pushed out of the way and everything we thought we needed in the Tahoe, we headed to the hospital.

We were settled into one of the small labor rooms and everything was hooked up by about 1:30 am and we expected to be holding a baby by lunch. Things didn't happen exactly that way. My family arrived from Andalusia about 3 am--his actually beat us to the hospital-- because we were cleaning. We visited with them for a little while then they all went to the waiting room and Chadd and I turned out the lights and tried to sleep (big emphasis on 'tried'). A couple of hours later, they came and moved us to the huge L&D room across the hall. Kriston, Whitney, and Coty all got subs for their classes and were in Mobile by mid morning. It meant a lot that they did all that to come be with us and see Bryant. At some point later in the morning the Dr. decided to start a pitocin drip to hopefully make me dilate faster. Bryant wasn't showing any signs of distress, but because my water had broken they wanted to speed up the labor to prevent infection. So an antibiotic and pitocin was started. The contractions did get a lot stronger and closer. I had LOTS of people in my room and I apologized to the nurse but told her I thought the distractions made it easier for me. She assured me that whatever made it easier was fine. She was super, super sweet. (Side note story:) I asked her what was it like for the baby when your water breaks. Meaning how does their environment change: Does the uterus kind of cave around them? Does the fluid immediately begin replacing itself? etc. She began explaining to me (very sweetly) that we can't be sure, because we don't know what babies are thinking, but that she thought they were ok and were still happy. Haha! She had to think I was a lunatic, but I was so exhausted I didn't even bother to explain to her what I meant. I just left it at that. After just talking to Chadd though, he apparently thought I meant the same thing she did and said he made the hand signal to her that I had been drinking. Oh well, what can you do? Maybe its a crazy question, but it seemed legitimate at the time.

So, there was my family-Mom, Dad, Jessica, Jamie, & Kriston; Chadd's parents; Coty, Whitney, Scarlett, & Sophie all rotating in and out of the room...all...day...long. Along with others that stopped by for a little while. Really, it was a good time. Of course, Chadd never really left my side (and never went to sleep). I know I had no control, but by about 3:00pm I started to feel really bad that I was keeping everyone waiting so long. Eventually, I decided I had had enough pain and asked for the epidural. Having that done was the first time I cried all day (up to that point anyway). I was scared and jumped when Dr. Daniels, the anethesist, pressed something on my back. He got VERY stern and said, "Do NOT jump!" Well, that was all it tookat that point to send me over the edge; tears started streaming down my face. All went well though and the epidural was AWESOME. I was so relaxed after it. Everyone stayed out of the room and we had some quiet time although I still don't think we went to sleep. I couldn't feel the contractions anymore but I knew when I was having one because I got nauseous every time. It was the strangest thing. It got to be later and later and Kriston and Whitney were going to have to leave to get back home so their babies could go to bed. Dr. McGrath came back around 6pm and examined me. I was STILL at 4cm. As soon as she looked at me, I knew what was coming next. She looked almost like she was going to cry too as she told me that I had to have a C-section. I was upset (really upset) and I cried, but I couldn't argue. I knew I had to do whatever was best for Bryant and I. I felt like I went into a fog as soon as she said the word. I NEVER really thought I'd have to do it that way, even though I had said I was trying to be prepared for anything. Everyone came back in and saw us before they took me back. Chadd and my Momma put on their gowns, hat, & masks and went to the OR with me. I'm not going to lie- the section was horrible. I have never felt pain like that. The epidural was working, they did the pinch tests and alcohol swab test and I couldn't feel anything. Ohhhh, but did that change as they started working. I'm not really sure what was going on but there was just SO much pain. It radiated from my toes up to my shoulders. I was crying and started throwing up. Alex Bruns, was my CRNA. Chadd grew up with him and his family. He kept asking could he give me some pain medicine but I didn't want him to for fear of not remembering the rest of the night. It got to be too much though and he had to give me some. Annnnd I don't remember much after that, or the next day for that matter. Bless Chadd's heart, I'm still piecing things together so I've asked him a million and a half questions about what happened over the next 24 hours. BUT what I do know and remember is hearing that sweet little baby cry and Chadd bringing him over to my face for me to see and kiss before walking him to the nursery...and that's what matters.

Perfect! All 7lb 3ozs, 21.5" of him

They finished sewing me up and took me back to my L&D room. All I remember from the rest of the night is Coty and Whitney coming to my bedside and me telling them how bad the section hurt. I also remember waking up (many hours later, I think) and hearing Bryant crying, seeing Chadd way down at the other end of the room changing his diaper and feeling like I should get up and help him, but knowing that I couldn't. Oh, and I remember someone telling me that he had lots and lots of hair and that it looked highlighted. That's it-that's all I remember. I don't remember holding him for the first time, which I've had a hard time with. I don't remember nursing him. I don't remember seeing our friends and family come in and hold him, but apparently when asked if I wanted to just have everyone stay out for the night and for us to hold him and get some rest I apparently said, "No, let everyone come back." So they did, all 500 people that were out in the waiting room at that point came into the room and passed him around and saw me looking like death warmed over. I don't remember it though, so its all good.

God has blessed us beyond belief. If there was anything good about the C-section, it was that we got to spend extra days in the hospital- just the 3 of us. Not having to worry about work, the weather outside (which was freezing, I think it snowed most everywhere else in AL), or anything but getting to know and bonding with our new little miracle. Those 4-5 days will always be so special to me. Every time Chadd picks up Bryant he looks at him and starts singing "Hello World", and I don't think he even realizes it. It makes my heart smile every time. I couldn't have done it without Chadd. That's truly when "in sickness and in health" hits home. He had to help me in and out of bed. He did 99% of Bryant's diaper changing. When the nursery nurses were bringing Bryant in every 45 minutes throughout the night to nurse he got up every single time and just sat by my bed. He took care of everything. He has been my rock and I'm so thankful for him.
Today is my 26th birthday. Mom and I took Bryant for a weight check this morning and he's back up to 7.2lb! That's only 1oz shy of his birth weight and it means he's gained 7 oz since leaving the hospital 2 days ago. We might have a little porker before too long. The 3 of us met Chadd for lunch after and came back home. We don't have any other plans for the night, but that's ok- Happy Birthday to me!! :)

All My Bags are Packed, I'm Ready to Go

Now we're just waiting for God and the little man to decide when will be a good time for us to meet. I still refuse to use the word "miserable", although I've had my moments. This is all part of it and it won't be much longer so there's no point in being miserable. It could most definitely be worse! It is getting SO hard to move though. I'm not uncomfortable when I try to lie down or sleep, but getting up is a different story! Almost impossible. My lips are huge this morning and have brought a huge face along with it, haha. My swollen legs and feet are here to stay now, too, I guess because it no longer goes away with a night of sleep or a few hours of propping them. I've also had a headache for about 3 days now and the nausea and throwing up refuse to give me a break. I'm ok really though. I'm writing this more to be able to remember how things were for me more so than complain. So, don't feel too sorry for me :).
I have my 39 week appointment this afternoon. I'm always ready to see what she has to say, but somehow God has allowed me to not be anxious or impatient yet. I think its a little denial, too. I don't feel like this is really about to happen. Its still surreal. My family on the other hand is another story, haha. They aren't one bit nervous about this whole labor and delivery thing and are a tad excited for it to just happen already. I've had strict instructions to hold this baby until the weekend though. Apparently, I had all of Thanksgiving break that would've been convenient for a lot of people. Now that everyone has gone back to work, Bryant has to wait until the weekend. I've given him the message and told them I'll keep my legs crossed, as difficult as that is at this point.
Chadd has been WONDERFUL. Yesterday, I had been to the office for a couple of hours to turn in my ciriculums and other teaching stuff. By the time I got home, my feet were huge. He told me to get on the couch and prop my feet. He brought home pizza and brought it to me on the couch. He was home long enough to take care of me, stuff down some pizza, and get ready for his softball games and head back out. He was gone until after 10 and had to be back up at 4:45 for work this morning. He also washed the dishes in the sink before going to work yesterday. He's vaccumed (mulitple times), shampooed the carpet and furniture, cleaned one of the bathrooms, cleaned up otherwise around the house and has been ok with my lack of cooking lately. I think I'll keep him.
We had a great Thanksgiving! I was really, really sad about not being able to travel and go to Andalusia, so some of them came to us! We had Thanksgiving lunch on Thursday with some of Chadd's family that are here in this area and Saturday some of his family and some of mine were able to come from Andalusia to our house for lunch. I still missed getting to have lunch at MawMaw & Grandaddy's with Kriston and Kayla, but it was a really good day. I hope everyone was able to spend some time with family and friends remembered to count their many blessings!

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes...

That's what I feel a lot of these days. Well, I don't exactly know what parts I'm feeling, but I do know that our little boy is a busy body and is running out of room in which to be busy. As of tomorrow we will officially be full term! We are just waiting now. Everyone talks about being miserable at this stage, but I'm not. I'm thankful. Sure there's terrible, nasty heartburn; feet in my ribs (right now as I type that actually); sore joints; swelling; LOTS of weight to carry around; hot flashes; sleepless nights; itchy, numb, tight, achy tummy; and lots of jabs that send shocking pain down my legs; not to mention that I can't breathe or move around very much. All that sounds miserable, but I'm not...really. Strangely, I'm thankful for all of it. Its like I need to be reminded that he's still there and I'm still pregnant and everything is still well...and nothing says you're still pregnant like that burning in your esophagus. Don't let me kid you, I'm VERY ready to be "me" again. Not all of those things are at their worst at the same time though, so its all manageable. I think I've gotten bored with all this and I'm just ready for him to be here. There are things that I'll miss about being pregnant, but definitely other things that I'm ready to have back.

This might not be interesting to anyone but me but its things I want to remember so I'm going to list some things that I will miss about being pregnant:

1. Having him with me at all times.

2. Feeling all the kicks, turns, flips. Getting to know his active and sleepy times.He is ALWAYS super active between 8-10pm. I'm curious to see if that continues. He seems to sleep most of the night. I'm SURE that will continue.

3. The people in public that are actually very considerate and sweet: I've had little old ladies get on to me for picking up things in Wal-Mart. They'll punch their husbands and tell them to "get that for her". Random people in the parking lot to come over and load my groceries and take my cart for me. I've had several people offer to do things like that and it means a lot.

4. The way Chadd talks to my tummy and makes me laugh...then my tummy starts jumping from me laughing and it makes us laugh even harder.

5. Having people ask what I want to eat and where I want to go to eat. I haven't had many cravings, but its been pretty nice to get first pick of the restaurant.

6. I really haven't taken advantage enough b/c I'm too much of a busy body and I still feel guilty, but when I do have a really tired day its been nice to be able to lay around and not feel AS guilty.

7. Having Chadd dote. He's really good at doting anyway and always tells me I'm beautiful etc. but its just different when you're pregnant.

8. Knowing that I'm helping God grow a little life inside. That the miracle of a human life is being created in my body. THAT feeling is what I will probably miss most.

Then there are things I won't miss one single bit:

1. All of the above mentioned symptoms.

2. Weighing more than I'm positive God made my frame to carry.

3. Not being able to wear my wedding rings and my limited wardrobe.

4. The people in public that aren't so sweet. The people that, I'm sure have good intentions, but the look on their face is one of total fear and disgust as they say, "My god, you're pregnant." or "No, really honey, I bet you're having twins and they just haven't seen the other yet." or "You're only 30 weeks?!? Hey (everyone in this building!), she's ONLY 30 weeks. Look at her!"

5. Feeling out of breath...all the time. Whether I've actually done something to be out of breath or if its just that my nose feels swollen or I just can't get enough O2 for the both of us...And Chadd loves to make fun of the fact that I can't hear just how loud I'm breathing, but everyone around me can. So, sorry to anyone that has noticed it.

6. Trying to get out of bed with no use of my stomach muscles- especially the middle of the bed.

7. Feeling unattractive. Vain? Maybe. But I am really ready to not be SO self-conscious. Not necessarily for the general public but for Chadd. Some women have told me they've never felt more beautiful than when they were pregnant. I wish that was me, but its not.

8. Worrying about Bryant. I know, I know...the worrying that is parenthood is just about to begin, but I'm ready to be able to see him. I worried myself sick in the first trimester and finally realized that I wasn't trusting God and its been better since then. However, when I wake up and he's being really still or its a day that he hasn't moved a whole lot, I just want to know exactly what's going on.
9. Nausea. I still have to take Zofran every night. 9 months of this stuff. Def. ready for that to go away.

10. Having people talk about "my horomones". Hold on, let me step up on my soap box. Ok, seriously, people- that annoys me SO much. Yes, I have had a few extreme horomonal days. 4 that I can think of to be exact and NO, one of them was NOT when our furniture order got messed up. I was genuinely, plainly upset over that. I really have not been that "horomonal"- any more so than the one day a month I usually have when I'm not pregnant. I have remained pretty level, even to my own surprise, because I read Jenny McCarthy's book and kept waiting for those CRAZY pregnancy horomone moments. It sucks to have people unvalidate every feeling or emotion you show by smiling pityingly (if that's a word) and saying "oh those pregnancy horomones". Yes, there have been a couple of days when I've wanted to cry all day for no reason and one that I wanted to chew Chadd out--all day--for no reason at all, but rest assured that I stayed by myself on all of those days, b/c I'm aware enough to know when I'm having one. SO, I will be glad when this and the postpartum time has passed and everyone around me takes what I think, say, and feel seriously again. By the way, today isn't a horomonal day either, really, ha. Its just a pet peeve I've developed.

So, there you go. There will be things I miss and don't miss about being pregnant, but over all at this point I think I'm just ready to not be pregnant. I'm anxious and nervous about the labor and delivery part but we are SOOO excited x 1000 to be "Mommy" and "Daddy". I can't wait to see Chadd with him. He's going to be great. I'm pretty nervous about the sleepless days and nights coming up, but I think the excitedness of all the other new experiences overshadows it. Here are a couple of pictures Chadd took at the bay last week. I was 36 weeks on this day:

Saturday

Our Saturday has consisted of a lot of this...

And a lot of that...

I had plans of some yard work, maybe a Lowe's and Target run this morning, but all I've wanted to do is sleep. Chadd and Ellie haven't argued too much. This evening is a different story. We have a fish fry with our Sunday morning class and Carrie Underwood tickets tonight. We're going to try to make both. I've debated whether I should get some earmuffs for Bryant, but Dr. McGrath assured me the noise wouldn't hurt him. She gave me the O.K. to go since we have private balcony seats and also let me know that she would be there, too, but that she was NOT delivering him there. Hopefully, I won't have to put her to the test on that. Happy weekend!

Sad and Happy Times

We've had quite the week here at the Tillman house. This past weekend was filled with ups and downs. My Mom, Dad, and Jamie came down for a visit. We (ok, they) finished painting the nursery. We decided to change the walls from blue to green so instead of mom painting just the one design on one wall, they got to paint all 4 walls, again. We LOVE the way it turned out and are really glad we decided to change it now.

Bryant also had 2 baby showers in the past week. One was a surprise shower from the girls I work with last Friday morning. I got ready and went to the office for a "meeting" and they had a shower set up instead! Very sweet- I really enjoyed it. Saturday afternoon, Chadd's Aunt Betty, and cousins, Angie & Amanda, hosted our first planned shower. We are so thankful for all the GREAT gifts. Its exciting to start seeing things come together!

Then, there was the Alabama game...We played horrible, South Carolina stepped it up. They deserved the W. Enough said. Chadd and Daddy got sick of it and went back to painting in the 4th. I had to watch to the last second though, hoping we'd do SOMETHING. I'm not sure if that's optimism or silliness. However, I think we needed a loss after all this time. Hopefully, its a lesson learned.

Sunday and the days following have been rough to say the least. Flash, Chadd's dog of at least 10 years (no one has really been able to agree on his age), got very sick last week. Flash stayed with his parents when he left home so he's been "their's" and has absolutely been their shadow for several years. He's everybody's dog and the sweetest at that. When he got sick Thursday, we had high hopes that he just had an infection and could be treated and come home. I sat with him Thursday morning for a while. I could tell he obviously didn't feel good, but really thought he was probably having some GI issue, but nothing too major. The Dr. said he was fairly sure he had a bleeding ulcer that could be treated. Sadly, he got worse and worse as the weekend went on. By Saturday, his back legs seemed to be paralyzed and he was having to drag himself around using his front 2. He wouldn't eat or drink much. He spent the night at the vet Saturday night and Sunday morning we decided to play church by ear, pending a call from the Dr.. We had decided to go on and were walking out the door when Chadd's phone rang. It was Dr. George and he said things didn't look good. We sent Mom, Dad, and Jamie on to church and we headed to Saraland to the Vet. Flash wagged his tail when he saw us, he seemed so much himself. He was so alert, but he had lost the use of his right front leg. He wouldn't lay down though. He wanted to sit up for us. He had all his weight on his last good leg and sat there like that until it was trembling from fatigue. He still hadn't eaten. Dr. George advised us that this was no life for him and that he didn't think he would get better. He now thought that he must have had a stroke or had a tumor that was rapidly progressing. He said if we wanted, he would do an x-ray or open up his abdomen to try and find what was going on, but he didn't recommend it. We all sat and talked to him and loved and petted him for several hours. We cried, a lot. We took him out into the sunshine for a few minutes, hoping it would give him a little energy and just to let him be out there. After that, we made the hardest decision I think we've ever made, but I don't think we felt like we had a choice. It was clearly what the Dr. thought should be done and not knowing any more than we knew, it was all we had to go on. He had been too good of a companion to let him suffer any more. He has been so much to all of us. He had been Chadd's "bubba" for so many years. He was a HUGE part of getting his parent's through Chadd's deployment. And I know for me he was my shadow and helped me feel safe when Chadd's parents would be gone the summer I lived with them while doing my internship. He's become "mine" over the course of the last 5 1/2 years. He liked to give me what I called old man kisses. He was Ellie's "big brother" and watched after her. He wouldn't share his food with ANYONE, until Ellie came along. He tried to "protect" her from the neighbor dogs and she loved him so much. We haven't taken her to his parents house yet since he's been gone and we really, really dread it. I don't know that I can stand to see her running around looking for him, because she will. I know they're dogs, but when they're that much a part of your life, they're more like children. Mr. John and Ms. Debbie feel like they have an empty nest for the first time ever. Chadd and I have struggled hard with the decision all week. Its not easy seeing your husband cry and not knowing what to say because you feel the same way and have the same doubts. So, we're having a a hard time right now, but we're making it. And it will get better, I know. We will always, always miss him though.

To end on a happy note: Chadd and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary Wednesday! I love that man more now than I could even imagined I did 3 years ago. He's a good man- a really good man. Not to mention he's a pilot ;) (He likes to play that card a lot, so I figured he'd appreciate me using it.). Not to put a limit on God, but I just don't know if he could've made a more perfect match for me. I'm so thankful God has given us 3 years and pray that He gives us 100 more together. If I ever get up and get things done and packed up we're going to spend a few days on the beach in PC this weekend. Although I'm pretty sure I can't fit into the "mom" swimsuit I bought at the beginning of the summer...I'm going to try. We'll see how that works out.

Have a happy Friday and a great weekend :) Roll Tide!

Nesting is for the birds.

26 weeks today
So far this week I have done things like organize all of Bryant's clothes by size and color and put them all on blue hangers; I've cleaned out the cabinets in what will be his bathroom; cleaned out cabinets in the kitchen (When I say cleaned out I mean: throw things away, take out everything that's left, wash it down, wash the cabinet down and put it all back organized); I have absolutely searched the house for anything that can be gotten rid of; bought drawers and organized all my teaching things; have attempted to "re-clean" out the garage (Chadd did an awesome job cleaning it out about 2 weeks ago.); I've cleaned the air return vent and this morning I plan to clean the ceiling light fixtures if I have time before going to a Dr's appointment with Jessica; I've pulled weeds in the yard and flower beds. I worked on that until Chadd called and informed me that I was to get my pregnant butt back inside. I've also been looking into carpet cleaning and upholstry cleaning companies because that's on the to-have-done list.

Chadd keeps asking if I'm already nesting?

My answer: No.

Or maybe I just nest all the time. This past school year I was working at least 50-55 hours a week, keeping Philip and Mary-Claire and teaching. The first year we were married I didn't work and I cleaned like this, its just what I do. The thing is, I still feel like the house is a MESS right now. Probably because I'm doing all these things you can't see or tell have been done and not the big general things like dusting and vaccuming. Maybe I will "nest" later on, but I don't what else will be left to clean besides maybe the fireplace and chimney.

In other baby news, my tummy is growing! I'm not miserable, but the word uncomfortable comes to mind a lot. Bryant showed me yesterday morning that he can hear things on the outside. I was sleeping so well and so was he, he was being really still. Then, the phone rang about 6 am. I jumped and I felt him jump! After that it was somersault after somersault and no more sleep for me, or Chadd, or Bryant. His movements are getting so much stronger, too. I had to go to a CEU class in Mobile last week and I just knew someone was going to notice my stomach jumping all around, but no one said anything.

We've ordered the baby bedding and furniture. The furniture is on back order and won't be here until November, yikes! I couldn't find anything else that I liked as well though and of course I wanted THAT furniture when I found out it wasn't available. But really, what would something done by me be if it wasn't last minute?? We went and picked out paint options last night after church. I love my husband and I am really thankful he wants to be involved with all the decisions, but I don't think we have agreed on much of anything when it comes to decor and clothes. I think he's more on pansy-patrol than really into how the nursery is decorated. He can't stand the light blue or white (sweeeet) little outfits (Bryant has one), polka dots (the outside of the bumper will be polka-dots), or light blue (I picked out 2 shades of light blue paint). Good thing we, or he :), is good at compromising.

Lots of things to do today and I have to teach in Foley this afternoon, but tomorrow its off to Orange Beach with Jason and Rebecca for a Labor day weekend get-away. Hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend!

Drum roll.......

And his name is.... Bryant Walker Tillman :)

We are sooo excited and can't wait to have him in our arms!

Catching Up...really this time.

I've started 2 blogs titled "Catching Up" over the span of the last few months...and have yet to finish either. SO, even though those were condensed versions of our summer, this is the super condensed version.

1. Biggest news- We are having a BOY!! I really never doubted it would be a boy although I didn't like to say I "knew" it was a boy much. Every dream I had, the baby was a boy and every time I looked at girl things I got the feeling I was wasting my time. Chadd, on the other hand, had the "girl feeling".

2. No, we don't have a name picked out yet, so stop pressuring us :) Just kidding. We have it 1/2 figured out, but are stuck on the middle (or first) name and are now taking any suggestions; except from my sister, Jamie. She has been kicked off the baby-naming team. ;)

3. We still have LOTS to do to prepare for our little man. The guest bedroom that will be the nursery has been taken apart and the closet has been cleaned out. Only problem is everything from the closet is now in the floor of the bedroom, hmm. We have wire shelving throughout our house and I hate it (one of those things you learn after building and living in your first home). I decided what better room to start converting closets than the nursery, so Saturday I convinced Chadd to take the wire shelf out. He so sweetly did, although he did not want to. We went and got paint and my Daddy painted the closet while Chadd painted another guest bedroom which will become the office. Yes, we are playing major fruitbasket turn over in our house.

4. CHADD HAS A NEW JOB!!! In May, he had a phone interview for a position at U. of South AL as an 'Assistant Professor of Military Science'. We, of course, were hopeful but decided to pray and then just give it over to God. Last year at this time, we were waiting to hear from another full-time military position and it consumed us. We prayed and we prayed and we prayed some more. Everyone around us prayed. We were crushed, to say the least, when he wasn't selected. It was hard for us to accept that it wasn't God's plan for him to have that job. This time, there were 60 applicants and we wanted to trust God, and just let His will be done. I am SO, SO thankful Chadd was selected and that we get a chance to be home together. I also pray that its a job he enjoys. He seems to so far (students haven't come back yet). He will be teaching freshmen students and of course will still be able to fly on the National Guard side of things. Sianara, Louisiana!!

5. On the down side, Chadd will be deploying again in the spring. I'm trying to stay positive. This one is supposed to be 12 months as opposed to the 18 month deployment last time. That is definitely a blessing. I'm already ready for it to be over. Just keep us in your prayers.

6. I am not keeping Philip and Mary-Claire anymore. I have missed them so much. When I found out I was pregnant they had to begin looking for daycare. Spots are very hard to come by around here. Fortunately, Mary-Elizabeth was able to find 2 spots at the center they liked the best. Unfortunately, that meant they had to start going sooner than planned in order to keep those spots. But like always, it has actually worked out for the better and has been a blessing, which I will explain in my next point :)

7. I had my first ever hospital experience last week (on the patient side). I have been having some severe back pain and cramping on the right side for a while. I called the Dr. to make sure it was safe to use a heating pad and maybe some icy-hot on it. Well, she informed me that I was to go to the hospital, go straight to Labor & Delivery and tell them my name- she was going to call and tell them I was coming. After a couple of hours of being monitored I was told that I was having contractions and that I was being admitted. I did NOT expect any of that nor did I want to stay. They gave me phenergan and pain meds and I was off to never-never land. I don't remember much of the afternoon and night. I think the meds relaxed me enough to knock out the contractions which is what they were hoping. My Momma and Jessica came down. Chadd's parents and cousin Amanda came to visit me as well as some sweet people from church. All of my sweet friends from church had a call circle going and we are very, very thankful for all of the prayers. I was discharged the next day because no one could really figure out what happened to cause them. I've been trying to resume normal activities, but take it easy at the same time. I wish I could say the back pain is gone, but its actually been pretty bad the last couple of days. My (complete) guess is that I have a kidney stone. I'm just praying it doesn't keep progressing and start causing contractions again.

8. I will start teaching again next week. I am excited to get started back but I'm also trying to be realistic and remember how stressful it was at times last year. For those that don't know I'm working with Baldwin County Mental Health. I teach afterschool programs for "at-risk" children and teens. I teach life skills lessons on peer pressure, goal setting, drugs and alcohol, etc..

That's all I can think of for now. Maybe since I'm supposed to be spending a lot of time off my feet I'll be able to blog more often and maybe put up some pictures of other fun things we have done this summer...maybe ;)

Me at 20 Weeks (I'm 22 and 5 days today)

I'll have some of that water.

That's Riiiiight!!! We are expecting our little MegChadd to debut in early December. I think we are slowly starting to get over the "terrified of e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g" stage and are able to be excited and enjoy it a little. Well, let me back up, I'm still miserably sick so there's not a whole lot of enjoying it going on on my end, but in the first few weeks I was literally afraid to cough or breathe too hard. Since I've been worshiping the toliet god everyday for 3 weeks now, I've decided MegChadd is a pretty tough little jellybean coughing probably won't hurt him/her either.

We wanted to be able to surprise our parents so not many people knew we were trying. Only a few friends that have been trying as well that we were able to get moral support and prayers from. There had been many months of discouragement and disappointment, but we tried to always remember that God doesn't work on our timeline and tried to always pray that His will be done. He definitely proved that to us too! We had said from the get-go that if there was any month that we would choose not to have a baby, it would be December; namely because 1/2 our family, including both of us, are Christmas babies. Then there's a little thing called 'Christmas' that already has December wrapped up in busy-ness. Sooo, March rolled around and we weren't trying for or expecting much and, well, here we are! We could care less when the birthday is now, just praying for a healthy baby!! God does have a sense of humor though.

I have to go get ready for work, but more details and more pictures will be coming hopefully tonight...including our sweet little things, very first pictures (if you haven't already seen them on Facebook)!

A New Revelation...for me anyway.

I see a lot of the stickers on cars lately. I was driving down Hwy 98 one afternoon last week and I began to think about things that have played out in 0ur life recently. I also began to think of other's lives. I thought about friends who's lives (through the eye of Facebook) seem to have it all and have it all together, all the time. For some it seems that "Life is Good", all the time. It makes me feel guilty, a lot, or maybe ungrateful because I have to admit that there have been plenty of times in the last few years that I didn't feel life was very good (having your husband gone takes it toll at some time or another no matter how strong you try to be)...but then what about close friends who have already been through divorces? lost jobs? have cancer? buried their husband/wife or young children? Is life good for them? Can they see that decal and smile and say, "Yes it is."?



I was really thinking hard about this, because although, a lot of our personal circumstances are the same as this time last year, we've been blessed in another big way lately and life seems pretty good right now. It just made me feel fickle and like I am only content when God is pouring obvious blessings on me.

Then the answer occurred to me (Thank you, God) in the form of a saying that we used to say in morning chapel at camp:"GOD is good, all the time...and all the time, God is good." I believe that was, sadly, the first time that saying has come to life for me. Life ISN'T always good. For some its hardly ever good; and its OK for me to feel that way because this life isn't my home and God doesn't promise a "good" life here on earth. What He has promised is that HE is good and faithful and and because of that I might not always be happy, but I can still have joy and a "peace that passes all understanding" throughout any circumstance because I know that "ALL things work together for good for those that love Him and were called according to His purpose."

There's something in the water...

Are we having a second baby boom? I don't know, but these days, it seems like every week another couple tells us they're expecting. There were LOTS of babies born especially at our church, and amongst for family and friends in the past year and we have several more friends that are pregnant now. Such exciting times! I've been waiting to announce until I felt like it was well known that my best friend, Whitney, is pregnant!! She and Mark are expecting a baby girl in June. Its still unreal to me. We can't possibly be old enough, can we?! They have settled on a beautiful name, but I'm not sure if she's telling yet, so my lips are sealed for the time being.

The most exciting news this week, however, is that CHLOE is here!! She was born Monday about 7:05 pm. Kriston and Greg are doing great! In fact, I just got a picture text of Chloe in the car seat getting ready to leave the hospital, right now! I'm so glad I was able to be there :)

Chloe Michelle Bush

7 lb. 1 oz. ; 21.25 inches